Recovering from a Breakup
Breaking up.
The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected.
Hopeless. You don’t want to go back in the jungle
again. You may even have that dread feeling of
failure.
Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed
to have been written for you. You want to stay
in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring
the kids to your relatives for a while. You don’t
feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to
yourself that you will never get involved with
someone again, half believing it.
Life is much more exciting than that. Besides,
you are not the last and only person experiencing
a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup
either. With the proper mental tools, break ups
could be less painful.
Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity
for a change of habits. It’s like having an addiction
and you need to cut yourself from it. It’s painful
but necessary. The good news about it is that
it doesn’t need to be Hell on Earth. There are
effective ways to go through this process with
smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of
the great moments that you had together. Chances
are that those moments happened a long time ago,
not to mention, not that often either. Keep in
mind the reasons of your break up, until your
mind is in sync with your heart. And don’t keep
in touch with that person for now, if you can.
Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare
minimum.
Write a letter
You need to let the emotions out. Write everything
that frustrates you, made you angry, sad, etc…
You don’t necessarily need to send it to your
previous partner but at least, this is a proven
healing process for you to calm the storm inside.
You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for
yourself later, when the healing process will
be over. You might discover some strength that
you are not aware about you.
Make new friends.
You need to socialize more the ever. How do you
do that? Go to fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs,
art clubs, etc… ask questions, make conversations,
and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities
and keep in touch. Offer to help with something.
Friends come fast like that. Don’t jump into another
relationship to avoid facing your feelings of
emptiness. Chances are that there will be other
disappointments. You need to finish the process
of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open
your heart again to someone else, and increase
the chances of success.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure.
A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring
texts that will give you strength ( Like the book
“Chicken soup for Soul”). Go jogging. Do someYoga.
Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples
with the kids. You know what I mean; do all the
activities that help put your soul to calm.
Stay away from unsupportive people
Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments
of your family and friends. I am sure that they
really want your good. But they maybe are a little
bit …. “clumsy” in the way they express their
caring for you “ When are you going the get married?
You can’t go from people to people like that!
You are getting old, you know?” or “ There are
other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!” (I hate
that one). Hang out with people who are taking
your mind off things, who understands and gives
you the support that you need. I remember reading
this about hardships that “ It is not only time
that heals the heart, but also all the warmth
and love around us.”
Get a Pet
When I broke up with my last boyfriend, I got
a cat. He was so tiny and requested so much of
my attention that it fulfilled my need to feel
wanted. A pet doesn’t replace the love and attention
that a boyfriend or girlfriend can give, but,
it’s all part of the process of having a full
life. So get a dog, a cat, a turtle, whatever
provides that added value in your life.
Find at least 3 Passions
You will need to get all the strength that you
can possibly have to open your heart to fun. Fill
your life to the fullest with different passions.
Take cooking lessons, take a gold lesson, try
other sports, and try painting, other arts, and
hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will
keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill
and will feel good about yourself and, you will
be more interesting for a future mate. One of
my friends was single for at least 2 years. She
decided to join a badminton club. The first semester,
nobody was really interesting for her. In the
second semester, there was still no new blood
coming. But she still subscribed because she enjoyed
the activity so much. The third semester, this
dark handsome policeman join the league and it
didn’t take long before they hooked up. And today,
they share, among other things, this passion.
It’s an opportunity to have fun together and to
be together.
Date Again.
Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back
on the Horse again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem
and being in situations where people from the
opposite sex find you interesting will prevent
that you go down into that whole. You don’t need
to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have
fun. Keep the relationships light and simple.
Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites,
classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since
you are not out to find a husband and wife yet,
you won’t be threatening.
Get to the stage of feeling great being single
Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single
life. This is a powerful way to find true love
because if you are having a great life alone,
you will be willing give up your exciting single
lifestyle for the person that is really worth
it.
Be and Feel Successful
And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge
of all is Success. Take this opportunity to develop
your personality even more. Your children, if
you have, will be proud of you and people around
you will admire your strength and more opportunities
will occur.
If you were to consider coming back with your
partner, start considering it not before 6 months
to a year after the break up. This has given time
to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual
faults and strengths, and to heal.
Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our
life to pass. But you can take this opportunity
to prove to yourself, once again, how much of
a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform
yourself even more. If you transform your life
while you are not in a relationship, with a partner,
you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.
The most important thing: laugh, laugh, and laugh.
Laugh at every opportunity that life gives you.
Feel good and be happy.
Wishing you great success in finding happiness
again
About the author:
Who is Caroline? She is a growing expert on love,
relationship, romance because she is reading extensively
on the subject. She is gladly sharing her knowledge
and experience. To continue receiving tips on
how to get the love life that you want, you can
subscribe free to her newsletter at http://www.everydaybetterliving.com
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