Laws of Succesful Relationships
Most think that relationships
exist to make them happy. When they find that
special person, they believe that love will naturally
grow. But in relationships we encounter everything,
challenges, joy, fulfillment, loss. Yet, despite
all training in life, we seldom learn about the
knitty gritty of relationships, how to build the
relationship in a way that brings out the best
in all.
To start this process, there are 7 simple laws
we can learn and use. These laws will act as guideposts,
helping us to choose wisely and to avoid costly
mistakes.
Law #1 - There is never a lack of relationships.
Relationships are abundantly available wherever
you are.
Many live with the idea that love is scarce -there's
not enough to go around and that they must cling
to whatever comes their way. This idea can cause
them to get involved with the wrong person, or
stay in a relationship that is toxic for them.
It is crucial to realize that relationships are
plentiful. (If you don’t have one, it is because
you are keeping it away). It is never necessary
to cling to someone out of fear of being alone.
Law # 2 Know Who You Are And What You Really Want
Many enter relationships hoping that it will give
them a life, or make them feel better about themselves.
They may want their partner to take care of them,
or give them the approval they’ve been denied.
But it is of the utmost importance to know and
respect who you are, to enjoy your own company
and be aware of your own values and goals. Otherwise,
you can lost in a relationship, become a pawn
in someone else’s world.. A healthy relationship
is an expression of two people, both equally valuable.
In this kind of relationship you discover all
you have to offer and how to offer it.
Law #3 Don't Keep Choosing The Wrong Person For
You
Some find, to their amazement, that they choose
the same partner, over and over again. Relationships
patterns repeat as well. This is called the repetition
compulsion. It is the unconscious need to repeat
a situation over and over until we master it or
it turns out the way we want it to. This compulsion
keeps some people stuck in a bind. If you are
caught in this, see what this pattern is doing
for you. Actively choose different places to go
and individuals who are different from those you
usually meet. Become stronger than the pattern.
Turn you life around.
Law #4 - Enjoy Honest Communication
Without the ability to say No, we cannot say Yes.
Don't pretend to be someone you're not to make
another happy. Don't give up that which is meaningful
to you for the sake of a friendship. The bedrock
of all happy relationships is mutual respect and
acceptance and open, honest, communication. Ask
for what is important to you. Find out what is
really going on for your partner. When a person
really feels listened to and accepted they feel
loved.
Law #5 Don’t Try To Change Or Fix Other Person
Let everyone be who they are, including yourself.
So many of us are obsessed with changing or fixing
everyone. This is not friendship, but manipulation.
. Many believe that if the person cared enough,
they would certainly change for them. This is
not so. Changing another is not your job. Find
out who the person you are with really is. If
someone feels accepted, they can change themselves,
if they want to.
Law # 6- Know Difference Between Real and Counterfeit
Love.
Feeling happy, high, excited or attached to a
person, feeling possessive or dependent is not
love. It's infatuation, ego thrills or dependency,
usually based upon fantasy. Inevitably, fantasies
fade. People then feel that the love is over.
It is not over, it’s just been a form of counterfeit
love. We must learn the difference between real
and counterfeit love, between love and fantasy.
Counterfeit love always involves struggle and
pain. Real love never does. Real love is a verb.
It is not based simply upon feelings, which come
and go, but actions. It is important to learn
"to"do love". Do love and you will be loved. in
return.
Law #7 - See the Best In Others - And In Yourself.
What we see in others, we bring out in them. If
we focus upon their negative points (and let them
know about them), you can be certain the negativity
will increase. When we focus upon what is good
in that person and let them know, this brings
out the best. The better a person then feels about
themselves, the less need they have for negativity.
Often it can just fall away on its own.
Law #7 1/2- The Master Law When They Come We Welcome,
When They Go We Do Not Pursue
Understand that each relationship lasts for a
certain time. You've come together to learn from
one another, to share, enjoy and often move along.
This is not rejection, but growth and change.
Change is natural and inevitable. Don't see it
as failure. Don't see it as loss. Don't try to
control when time comes to go. Realize that if
the person is supposed to be with you longer,
they will return on their own. The greatest art
of relationships is to know how to let go. When
someone new comes welcome them, when it's time
to let go, thank the person for all you've received
from them and let go.
Discover the surprising truths about love that
will save your relationship, by working with the
unique program in Dr. Shoshanna’s new e-book Save
Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful
Relationships). http://www.truthaboutlove.com
.
|
