Mr Right vs Mr Wrong
1. He always make plans at the last minute.
He may have several rods on the fire. You might
not be his favorite rod. If nothing else comes
along then you pop into his head. Some men just
like to keep their options open. They have several
choices available and don't want to make the wrong
decision or commit to a date too soon in the event
that something better might come along. You have
to decide if this is something you can tolerate.
If you are not that into him either, it may work
out perfectly for you (a girls gotta eat), but
if you are waiting by the phone this may be sign
to move on. I personally would not feel I was
being treated respectfully in this situation.I
would feel I deserved to be treated better.
2. He's not taking an active role in becoming
part of your world.
If a man is serious about you, he will usually
make the effort to get to know the people who
are important to you. Whether it's your friends
or family, he will want it to be known that he
is your man and he will usually try hard to make
a good impression. This is how some men mark their
territory. Hey, it doesn't hurt if everyone loves
him and sings his praises to you. If he doesn't
care about that, he simply might not care about
you. If he does care about you, but doesn't want
to be involved in your world... well, that's a
whole other story. You come to your own conclusion,
but if it were me... I'd rethink the relationship.
3. He doesn't go to events that are important
to you.
Once in awhile if he has a good excuse or is ill
or something...that's ok. If you see a pattern,
it may be time to trade up. Something that is
important to you should be equally important to
him. If it is not, then it might be a sign that
either he is not that into you, he prefers his
friends to you, or he is simply too self-centered
to stop for a minute and please someone other
then himself. If you've really hit the jackpot,
he may be a combination of all three. Either way,
pay attention to the signs and decide if you feel
you are worthy of more.
4. He stays in close contact with his single
friends.
If a guy does not part with his single friends,
you can be fairly certain he is not going to give
up the single life either. Some guys are just
players: they have to keep their options open
and have a certain amount of emotional distance.
Having single friends when you are dating is the
best of both worlds. He may continue to get close
to you, but his friends are never far behind.
They attend events with you and have permission
to just drop by at their whim. You don't want
your guy to give up his friends, but it may be
a sign of trouble if he insists that you spend
most of your time together hanging out with his
buddies.
If he is not a player, but just very social, make
sure your needs are met as well. Hanging out with
the buds can be fun, but sometimes alone time
is also needed in a relationship. If the situation
meets your needs, then great. If not, then decide
if this is something you can get used to.
5. Night time is the right time... all the
time.
If he loves the nightlife and the nightlife loves
him even after you have been dating for a while,
this might just be his way of life. If this is
your way of life, then you have just met your
soulmate. I wish you well. However, historically
when couples first start dating they tend to go
out a lot, stay out late, and dance the night
away. Once you settle in, though, and get closer
in the relationship, the pendulum swings to quite
nights at home and romantic dinners. If this is
where you are hoping the pendulum would swing,
then it may be a good time to express your needs
and see if he can meet them. Don't ask or expect
him to change if that is who he is and what makes
him happy. Accept the fact that you want different
things. It may be time to send this one back and
explore the other "fishies in the sea".
6. You never see him more then once a week
(ok... sometimes twice), even after you have been
dating several months
Is he super busy or are you play toy number 7?
He might have one for every day of the week, and
you only can see him twice if numbers 1 through
6 are busy. Hey, it happens ... mostly because
he has been allowed to get away with it. Just
don't be naive and think he is sitting home 6
nights alone. If this is acceptable to you, then
by all means enjoy your time together when it
happens. I guess you will certainly never get
sick of each other. If you need more see if he
can (or more importantly will) meet your needs.
If not...get those shoes on and start walking.
7. You only have his cell number after you
have been dating each other for a more then a
month.
If it's been months and you haven't asked him
about that...allow me...he's either living with
someone else or he doesn't want you calling his
house in case he has another woman over. The cell
phone he can turn off or set to vibrate... How
perfect is that? When you are into someone (and
not dating other women too) you want her to feel
free totally comfortable calling you anytime.
It shows commitment and openness. If he is not
showing these signs outwardly, it might be an
indication that you are dating a very busy man.
If it feels like a duck and quacks like a duck...
yup, it's a duck. This little trick was used on
me, and I must say I didn't catch on for quite
a while. I was too naive...I'm all grown up now.
About the author:
Cathi Adams is the author of "Divorce Secrets:
What Every Women Should Know." This invaluable
resource provides steps to ensure financial security
to woman faced with the possibility of divorce.
Visit her web site for a FREE report -What You
Absolutely Must Know Before You Even THINK About
Getting A Divorce: http://www.DivorceDefense.com
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