Relationship Myths
In my private practice for over 14 years no matter
what my clients have come to see me about, there
has always been an issue about a better relationship.
Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my
clients have related to me about having a better
relationship. These misconceptions are followed
by my perspective on each one of them.
Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner
Reality Check 1
You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt
behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches,
church etc. (who did their best to teach you about
a better relationship). These behaviors have become
the backbone for your way of living and having
a better relationship.
Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having
a better relationship would be leaving the toilet
seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and
not the essence of the person. However, when you
may consider this behavior to be the person, this
destroys the concept of a better relationship,
creating all kinds of conflict in your need for
a better relationship.
Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partner
Reality Check 2
You met your partner because of some special quality
or charteristic that you admired. You need to
accept and allow that quality to flourish in order
to allow you and your partner to grow into a better
relationship.
You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself.
Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand,
you will experience the quality of your partner
and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy
a better relationship.
Myth 3 I am supposed to give up the things
I like in order to be in a better relationship.
Reality Check 3
Giving up the things you like to be in a better
relationship is like take a knife and cutting
away a part of yourself.
Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness
of you and your partner.
When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself
of a better relationship, your passion and your
partner of your creativity.
Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining
armour
Reality Check 4
You may have been conditioned to live your life
expecting someone to take care of you. What happens
if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able
to take care of you.
Your responsibility in creating a better relationship,
is to bring your passion to the table of your
relationship. Some days you will be the knight
in shining armour and another day your partner
will be the knight in shining armour of a better
relationship.
You will each get a chance to shine like star
in a better relationship because of your strengths
and weaknesses.
Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationship
Reality Check 5
In a material context, a better relationship can
be expensive if you think that love is based on
the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of
these material assets are necessary, they should
not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.
Love is creating a better relationship by building
a relationship that is based on the simple things
in life, like walking and holding hands, going
on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing
an ice cream.
Love in a better relationship is not about what
you show on the outside but what you express in
you heart. Love is not about money or materialism,
love just is.
Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling
Reality Check 6
It is not what you say, it is what you do. You
can say, "I love you" which may be merely words
and no feelings (action). Love is the action of
doing.
If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water
is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner.
Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant,
it is the thought that counts and the action that
cements a better relationship.
Myth 7 I don't have to work at my relationship
Reality Check 7
As a child, you learned to creep before you walked.
Then you learned the letters of the alphabet.
In order to write, you had to learn how to put
those letters together to make words and sentences.
These sentences then become the way in which you
communicated.
When you and your partner stop communicating after
learning how to use the letters of the alphabet
in sentences, it's like 2 tape recorders talking
to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a better
relationship.
In summary:
1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship
is not your partner's true essence.
2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself.
A better relationship requires some variety.
3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better
relationship is like throwing out the baby with
the bath water.
4. In a better relationship there are no superior
partners, just equal partners.
5. Love in creating a better relationship is not
about money and the material assets (although
there are important) but the simple things in
life.
6. Love in a better relationship is active not
passive.
7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for
a better relationship.
About The Author:
Cecil McIntosh provides Relaxation Resources, that will
turbo charge your health, business and wealth. To receive
your free 7 day Relaxation course. visit this site now:
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